Please, help

What do you want to say to someone about trust? Trust in a partner, relationship, pastor, or even God?

What do you tell a girl, when the first person God intended would be, to an extent, a reflection of His image and attributes, was the first to crush her trust, her confidence, her pride, and even became a practical example of “man’s extreme wickedness”?

How would she believe that there is an ever loving Father (whom she cannot see), when the father she can see is heartless to the point of using her like she was a whore?

These cases are growing everyday...people's consciences, hearts, morals have traveled along with time, and have refused to return. Where is our sanity?

Another case recently shared; a girl of 13 summoned the courage to report her father who has been sleeping with her for 3 years. She cried every time he had his way, and each time neighbors heard her crying, they sought reasons, but her father constantly claimed to be "punishing" her. What a father!

That you birth a child does not place you in a position to turn your child into a toy, the point of molestation. You were just privileged to be a custodian; it wasn't your right so don't abuse it, just cherish it.

                                                                   

That's not the end of the story...this girl had always been courageous enough to tell her "father's" brother anytime it happened. The brother would always say "no mind am, na the drink wey him dey take" (in order words, "pay no attention to him, it's because of his addiction to alcohol). Please, please, please, I'm I suppose to pay deaf ears or play stiff to someone who is trying to mesmerize my body?... The one person she confided in from the beginning did nothing to get her out of it...did nothing to save to her... Where is the love? Where is the heart? Where is the courage to save a little girl? Where is the decency? Every where is oozing with man's insanity...

Ah...ah...ah..., if man was God...if I had the power, all abusers would be buried alive. Quite alright, research has made us understand that most abusers where also abused. But hey, that you were abused does not say you should put someone else through such pain. How can people be so wicked? And ....a father...a father to his daughter or even son ...a mother to her son...This is wickedness. This is insanity.

Please, let’s all rise. In our corners, in our homes, in our schools, in our churches, in our mosques...everywhere...let’s help destroy this thing that is destroying our babies. Let’s speak against it, let’s protect the little ones around us (your children, nieces, nephews, cousins, neighbors...all of them). Let’s help look out for their well being. They won’t carry placards indicating that they need help; it’s a yearning from within that’s loud enough for us to hear only if we pay close attention.

Please, let’s help these ones. 

QUESTIONS

Some time ago, I had the privilege of talking with over fifty young girls on child sexual abuse and issues revolving it. These girls had so much innocence.., some had curiosity written in their eyes.  It felt really good to have that talk. While I spoke, I could see the pain in the eyes of some…, I could feel some had fears locked up in them that they found difficulties expressing. 

Now, here is the part that got me really thinking, after the entire talk, a young girl of about 14 years old, walked up to me and said she wanted asking me some questions. She asked “why would a father sleep with his daughter?”; she said she knew of a case where a brother abused his sister and she got pregnant, she said “what will they tell the child?” she was so transparent I could read her thoughts; her eyes were so deep, I could see the pain, I could see she needed answers to so many questions… I was tongue-tied because deep within me, I sought answers for these questions and even questions that go beyond sexual abuse.

Children/people are asking questions; they can’t seem to fathom certain horrors (neither can I). Victims of Sexual abuse want to break free but don’t know how and are wondering why they became victims in the first place; why it had to be them; porn has held many young lads hostage, they want to know the way to freedom, to liberty; People who are tied to poverty and are wondering if they could find their next meal or shelter for the night; people have heartaches and wonder when the nightmares will cease…,

As much as I believe in a new tomorrow, I can’t pretend not to be scared of it either; are our kids going to be safe? With so much horrors around now, what would it look like tomorrow? Then this poverty – it seems to keep building up like a “skyscraper”, and I’m wondering when it’s going to crumble. And With the older generation saying it was better in their days than it is in my days (even with the fight for independence, the civil war, riots in the 1900s etc). I look at things presently; I earnestly pray not to tell my kids “it was better in my days”. 

For me, what gives me courage, what gives me strength to even put this together, what keeps me going is Jesus. I can’t live any day without His hope in my heart; I can’t live through the nights and mornings without His arms holding me. I might not have answers to all the questions you ask or the ones I ask, but I have Jesus; He holds my tomorrow. He tells me “Joy, walk with me; I’ll guide and keep you – one step at a time”. 

Are you asking questions; you’re pondering and having heartaches about your situation; you’re wondering when and how you can come out of it; I don’t know any better place or person who could help. I just know the best – JESUS. He has done it for me, He is doing it for me, and He has assured me that He’ll keep doing it for me. Why not try Him today?

I Learned to Swear by Pam Vap

I learned to swear
twenty minutes before my first child was born.
Since then, it's been a handy habit
to have around, and I expect God
to turn his head. After all,
he owes me one. It's a trick
to make babies look so good.

The truth is they leak.
And of all horrors, they grow.

They only speak whine;
they cry and complain and wipe snot
on their sleeves. They spill dinner.
They stir pasta into their milk cups
and squish spinach between their teeth.
They eat crayons and toothpaste.
They call constantly. They call
constantly. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mo-om.

They inhale money, bang down stairs,
and store dirty socks and sandwich crusts
like hidden treasures in their closets.
They lipstick walls; they swallow marbles.
They break things.

Yet, God (no doubt in his wisdom) has ordained
that these crude creatures
should sleep incognito:
gentle
quiet
warm.

I am fooled easily.

Each night as I tuck covers around them
and bend to kiss their sweet, sleepy faces,
I don't care that they used
all the silverware in the garden.

Let's fill the house with angels,
I whisper to my husband
as I slip between the sheets.


I came across this poem this morning, and the first thing that ran through my mind was "God really made children beautiful", and then i wondered, "why should men make a monster of these kids by abusing them? why should men deprive them of the confidence and freedom God blessed them with?"
Please parents, look out for your children; be sensitive to their needs and cries; never assume that they are okay. The senses and lips of kids concerning abuse are never lies. please, guard them with all you can and have, and above all, pray for them always. 


I guess i'll work towards putting down an article(s) relating to how you can tell if your kid has been abused.  

MARRIED AS A CHILD…

Married as a child… if I get married at the age of 10, or maybe 8, or 6, or even 3…what’s that? Would I still be called? - a child? Would I have been said to have a childhood?

Married as a child... if the society I happen to be part of or the leaders my parents or those older than me trusted to bring modesty and order to the society, end up been the ones legally giving me out to be married as child, would there be hope for others coming after me? Would we still have a generation for children? It’s more likely we’ll start having adults thrown down to earth rather than have children.

I mean, define it yourself. A child getting married? She aint a child no more; a child carry a pregnancy? That’s no child; a child giving birth to a child or even children? Is she still a child? And what makes it worse is that the society doesn’t care anymore. 

Do you know what it means to be a child? It means that I get to live and act in ignorance. Ignorance is a whole lot of bliss for a child. It means I don’t need to worry because (by right) I have people to do the worrying for me. I don’t need to act or live mature, because by nature, I’m not meant for the adult things or situations. This is childhood; this is the joy of a child. So, why rob her of her privilege? Why rob her of this joy and bliss and laughter with her peers? Not just that, but these kids become exposed to insanity, low self esteem, diseases and even death; it means this child is robbed of LIFE…

We talk of a globalized world; we talk of a world or society with so much literacy and wealth, and so much on how the girl-child should be educated and equipped…we’ve not cleaned up these issues yet, and we stand to say she can be married at whatever age… Aren’t we going back to the period and age of grave illiteracy and poverty? What can a child have to pass on to a child she birth when she wasn’t allowed to learn hers? When did politics and religion become a tool used to mess up a child’s life? This is abuse. This implies that the society is legalizing Child Sexual Abuse…

By creation, a child has got the right to live; by nature, a child has got the right to play and learn in their world of ignorance; by societal standards, a child has got every right to be protected and provided for. Why should my beloved country try to rob this child of these rights and much more?

Please, our leaders, as we decide over the fate of our children (these sweet little ones), bear in mind that they have being given the right to live and act in ignorance and enjoy its bliss long before we all existed; bear in mind that if you had being robbed of your childhood joys you probably might have been long gone or living with so much trauma and that implies that you won’t have been occupying those seats. These children are our tomorrow; it’s our responsibility to guard and guide them. It’s our responsibility to let them enjoy their innocence till they are matured enough (physically, emotionally, psychologically etc). 

IT’S NEVER A CRIME TO BE A CHILD! IT’S NEVER A CRIME TO BE A CHILD! NO, NO, NO, IT’S NEVER A CRIME TO BE A CHILD!!!